It's about time I start writing again and what a way to begin this blogging journey, by discussing one of the most important topics out there...
Y O U
Realizing your self worth is no easy task. It takes dedication, patience, and most importantly, it takes a whole lot of grace. You need to be willing to seek out your flaws, your needs, and your desires. Not only seek them out, but accept and nurture these things. Let's discuss, shall we?
“Once we seek out and find our most vulnerable and darkest flaws, we open the door to truly understand our weaknesses. Not so we can feel guilt or shame, but so that we can nurture and grow.”
Flaws Are Tools:
There is no reason to fear or hate our flaws. We are human and human kind as a whole is extremely flawed and imperfect. However, it is essential that we dive down deep within ourselves to find out what they are and more importantly, to accept the flaws that we find. By accepting our weaknesses, we can finally shed light on the cobwebs we've been ignoring in those dark corners of ourselves. When I say "accept your flaws", I by no means mean that you should abuse and neglect the things about yourself that have room to grow and improve. It means, you now have the self awareness and power to begin taking action and vastly make a difference in the amount of joy & fulfillment in your daily life.
Okay, so you have found your flaws. Now what?
Here is where the real work begins. It's time to begin taking steps, no matter how small they are - to improve your quality of life. By being proactive and making the moves necessary to become a more well-rounded individual, you are heading towards the direction of our end goal; leading a fulfilled life. This is when you must accept the not so great parts of you and learn what you need. Remember, what you desire and what you need can be very different things. This will be hard and may even bring feelings of embarrassment, guilt, and shame. These are feelings that can lead to one of the worst emotions of them all: The feeling that you don't matter or that you have failed yourself or your community.
Why Do I Matter?
When doing shadow work and seeking our faults or flaws, it is likely that you will begin to feel a bit down on yourself for the mistakes you've made, the things you continue to procrastinate on or avoid, the traits of yours that aren't so sweet & savory, and the unhealthy patterns you constantly find yourself in.
Here's what I want you to know. You matter so much. Your life holds tremendous value and you have a future that glows so brightly.
Can't You Feel It?
That hint of warmth you feel on your cheeks and the bridge of your nose? That's the glow from the end of the figurative tunnel, beckoning you to keep your head held high, towards the light. When we are faced with questions like "why do I matter?" it can be difficult to come up with an answer. The truth is, we don't have all the answers and we probably never will. But, this is the moment that you to begin to get a glimpse at the real you. It's the moment you begin to look at yourself a bit more objectively, with a rush of curiosity and caution all at once. So tell me, why do you matter? I truly want to know.
I don't want to hear about your work and financial accomplishments, your abundance of prestigious education, or all of the time and/or money you've donated for the greater good. This isn't why you matter. You don't matter because of what you've done, nor do you matter because of the things you posses that the world can hungrily take from you. You - my darling dear, matter simply because you exist. Asking the question, "why do I matter?" is like asking the age old question, "why do I exist?". And the answer to that complicated question, is astonishingly simple in my mind.
“You exist for one very simple reason... To Live.”
Living Is The Whole Point of Living.
That might sound a bit funny, but hear me out for a second.
If you can accept the idea that you are here on this planet simply to live your life, how does that make you feel?
Does it give you a sense of relief, or does it bum you out because you expected more from my opinionated brain?
And more importantly, if you accept that the reason you matter is because you exist and the reason you exist is simply to live..
How does this realization now impact and alter your perception of the life you are currently living?
On the off chance that you're still reading, it's time to do the work. The moment has come to pull out the bifocals and examine what we're working with here. Now that you are ready to take a deeper look into the way you're living your life, are you ready to shift your perception?
With every shift we will experience a multitude of torn emotions. The instant we feel gratitude for things long taken for granted, we will simultaneously experience guilt. Moments of joy will be obscured by shadows of grief.
Trust The Process.
Coming face to face with our shadow self is the only way to fully know our inner self. Nurturing and nourishing our inner child is the only way to heal and prosper. Seeking our desires and passions is the only way to experience self empowered joy and to feel a truer sense of accomplishment than could ever be produced by a romantic or platonic relationship. Chasing play in every day life is the only way to find that childlike sense of wonder and awe with our surroundings. Allowing pleasure and joy into your life comes in all forms, but one thing I know for certain is that it does not truly manifest until we release ourselves. In other words, you need to get out of your own way.
Now that you are ready to shift your perception of the life you are living, what do you see?
Do you see someone that is focused on everyone but themselves? Someone that works, eats, sleeps, repeats?
Do you see someone that lives every day to the fullest and seeks joy, adventure, and fulfillment?
Do you see someone that lives every day feeling stuck, unfulfilled, empty, bored?
Find what truly excites you. Chase it and forget what others might think about it.
This is when the work and the fun of finding yourself and recognizing your self worth really begin to dance together. There will be moments of guilt, shame, and fear. And then there will be even more profound moments of clarity, empowerment, joy, and a sense of inner knowing that you have always craved. A new sense of self, of youth, and of curiosity. I am still on this path of self discovery and I feel it is likely a never ending journey that I am growing more and more seduced by each day. I am falling more and more in love with the woman I am becoming and releasing.